Decision

On the drive home from the doctor's office my mind is consumed with the decision I must make. I have spent most of the last month online reading everything I can on Endometriosis and I know what my decision must be but I cannot yet allow myself to make it. I have amazing friends and a very supportive partner but I want to speak to someone who is going through what I am. I want to speak to someone who has gone through what I must decide to go through. But I cannot - you see there is a stigma attached to having a hysterectomy at an early age. Even older women do not like to admit it. Personally, I cannot understand the reasoning behind this stigma so I do the only thing I can. I go online and hope that there are women out there who are comfortable enough to tell their story through the anonymity of the internet. No matter how much I read I cannot make contact to connect with these women. I have so many questions to ask each one but I cannot reach them. They offloaded all their frustrations or successes onto these sites and then never looked back. I feel alone, lost, backed into a corner, having to make a decision unaware of the real long term consequences. There is only so much you can learn from forums, websites and journals. I yearn to talk to a woman who has made the decision I must make.